Lessons Learned

God’s really working on us during this "wait".  He’s challenging us to be content in every circumstance.

“…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”  Philippians 4:11 NIV

He’s also challenging us to listen to His voice, to stop worrying, to be patient and to simply TRUST HIM.  We all know the following verse quite well…

“Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding.”  Proverbs 3:5 NCV

There’s no telling how many times I’ve read and/or heard that verse.  But man- - it means so much more to me these days.  I’ve never really struggled with trusting God before…. before now.  It’s fairly easy for me to trust Him to provide our daily needs, to protect us from evil, to comfort us when we’re hurting, etc.  But do I trust Him when it comes to our child/children?  Do I trust that He knows exactly what we need and when we need it?? 

I do…. logically.  But in my heart?  (“Trust the Lord with ALL your heart..”)……  I’m working on it.

It’s really comforting how God is using His people to encourage and support us during this time.  One recent example:  I didn’t realize that I needed a lesson on “Balance”.  But I did.  God knew that, and used my Coach (from the fitness boot camp I’m going to) to give me some guidance on it. 

He has this motto- - “The Goal Is To Roll”.  Coach Rod can do a better job of explaining this- - but the gist is that our life is basically divided into 7 important categories (Family, Future, etc..) Most of us spend the majority of our time in only a couple areas of our lives and we end up feeling overwhelmed, dissatisfied and unenergetic.  In order to live enriched, balanced lives, we should spend close to the same amount of time in each category.

This was a very important lesson for me because I tend to obsess over a thing or two at a time.  J  Lately, (obviously), it’s been our adoption process.  Several areas of my life suffer because I’m so exhausted after spending hours and hours invested into future planning and family time.  Fitness was way down on my list but I’m reminded that everything we do is worship.  As a result, I’m working on living a balanced life so I can glorify God to my fullest potential.  J 

“You should know that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit who is in you. You have received the Holy Spirit from God. So you do not belong to yourselves, because you were bought by God for a price. So honor God with your bodies.”  I Corinthians 6:19-20 NCV

I guess that’s a long way to say,…… Thank you Coach Rod!  You are a blessing!!  And friends- - if y’all need extra motivation to get your fitness goals on the right track and some encouragement to get your lives balanced- - PLEASE contact Coach Rod (www.coachrodkey.com).  He is an awesome Christian man blessed with the gift of encouragement and motivation.  I’m positive you’ll be blessed by working with him!

Commitment: A Story of Rascal

First of all, let me just say THANK YOU to those of you who have reached out to us about the situation in Jamaica.  We have been able to dig around a little more and are basically faced with the reality that NO adoption agencies in the U.S. facilitate adoptions from Jamaica.  L  If we were to pursue the little girls in Jamaica, it would involve going about it independently (new paperwork, hire attorney, wait for the girls to be “paper ready” to adopt, travel to Jamaica, etc).  We are not closing the door on this option, but honestly it terrifies us. 

We will have to wait and see what God leads us to do.  Continued prayers are VERY appreciated!

On another note- - let me catch you all up on what’s been keeping us busy the past several days….  This is a story of our cat, Rascal…

Last Tuesday evening, Rascal urinated on the bathroom rug.  (yuck!)  I freaked out to say the least and googled why he might have done such a thing.  After my “research” I concluded that he probably had a Urinary Tract Infection, considering he had no other symptoms.  The next day, I took him to the vet “real quick”.  I assumed that they’d check him out, give us a little pill for the UTI and we’d be on our way. 

(How silly of me to think it was going to be so simple.)

During his check-up, the vet wanted to do a urinalysis (I didn’t ask how they got a urine sample from my kitty…. Shew.  I don’t want to think about that).  After a few short moments, she came back into the room and said with a smile, “Do you want the good news or bad news first?”  I was like- - “whaaaaaat??.. uhm…. Bad news?”  She said, “Rascal is diabetic.”  It felt like my mouth dropped to the floor.  “And the good news?”  She smiled again, “He doesn’t have a UTI?”

She apologized for always having to give me “information overload” when I come in (refer to earlier posts about Zoe and her big vet ordeal).  She said, “I know you and your husband would not fall into this category because you all seem to be very dedicated pet owners, but a lot of times when people hear that their cats are diabetic, they choose to put them to sleep because of the level of commitment it requires.”

Again- - I was like- - “whaaaaaaat?!”  My sweet, sweet, Rascal!!  He was completely himself, just had a little accident on the bathroom rug!  He’s FINE!!  Right?!?!

Oh, and we all know Rascal is a chunk.  EVERY TIME we take him to the vet I ask if he’s obese, if he’s okay, etc.  I’m always told, “Oh, Rascal’s just a big cat.”  So I asked Mrs. Vet….. “Is this because Rascal is fat?? Because…”  She cut me off and smiled and said, “No,… not necessarily.  It’s mainly his diet.  Dry food is all carbohydrates.  So it converts to sugar.  That’s the problem.”

WHY didn’t they tell me this sooner?!?!?!  Grrrrrr…..

Anyway, after my millions of questions about what this really meant, she informed me that he needed to stay overnight, begin insulin shots, she needed to monitor him every 2 hours to make sure his blood sugar didn’t get “dangerously” low- (meaning lethargy, seizures, etc), he needed to start eating only soft/canned food and we would have to start giving Rascal insulin shots twice a day!!  

She said there was no alternative treatment for our sweet kitty.

Long story a little shorter:  I left and called Erik.  Through my tears, I gave him the news.  Immediately we started making calls and doing a little research.  Well, guess what?  There is a holistic vet in our area and he recommends a raw food diet to reverse the diabetes and some supplements too. 

So….. guess what?  We picked Rascal up from the vet a couple hours later and have decided to try raw foods and supplements to try to reverse the diabetes.  We’ll take him back to check his blood sugar in 2-3 weeks to see if we’re making progress.

So far, Rascal is enjoying his raw diet.  I forget that my sweet kitty is a carnivore.  Mrs. Vet thinks we are committed to our pets??....  She has no idea.  J

Commitment is this:  Pureeing raw turkey and mixed veggies for your cat’s food. 

He’s so worth it.    

The Run Around

A few days ago my cousin told us about 2 little girls that need to be adopted in Jamaica.  They’re sisters- - one is 4 years old and the other is 18 months.  After hearing only a few details about the sweet little girls and their living conditions, we had no doubt to pursue this potential situation.

Unfortunately our adoption agency does not facilitate adoptions from Jamaica.  They referred us to a government website to get information on adoption laws in Jamaica.  After calling several toll-free numbers from the site and leaving voicemails with no returned calls, I decided to call other adoption agencies to try to get some guidance.  A couple of agencies were really sweet and helpful but it still did not result in concrete answers that we desperately need.

One lady said that she thought after we get our home study updated to meet the international requirements, we would have to send it directly to the Jamaican court system and deal with them on our own.  I told her that made me nervous and she kind of chuckled and said that adoption in Jamaica is just different.

I called a couple of different immigration offices in Jamaica to try to get some answers about where to start but got zero answers.  One lady hung up on me (gasp!) and another referred me to the Jamaica Family Court office but the number was disconnected.  (sighhh)

After making 9 different phone calls today and feeling like each one was a door slammed in my face, I put my phone down and just cried.  And cried.

Everyone I spoke to seemed so nonchalant.  It’s so infuriating to me.  I am calling about 2 precious little girls that need to be adopted.  They do not have running water, they have 1 meal a day at best and are learning to steal and/or beg in order to have their needs met.  And I’m getting the RUN AROUND when simply trying to find out how to go about adopting these little girls?! 

Everyone says adoption is not for the faint of heart.  Well, …. Amen. 

I can’t stop thinking about those sweet little girls.  My heart is so broken.  Please pray for them and their birthmother…….. and for us.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed."  ~Psalm 34:18 NCV

"Learn to do right; seek justice.  Defend the oppressed.  Take up the cause of the fatherless;  plead the case of the widow."  ~Isaiah 1:17 NIV

Why??

When we are facing any type of disappointment, struggle, heartache, etc, we tend to ask, “Why are we having to go through this?”  or “Why me?!” or “Haven’t we suffered or WAITED long enough?!”

Well, my friends….  My brother had an excellent lesson last night at church and part of it was a beautiful reminder from I Peter.  Peter answers our questions of “why?!” so clearly.

“..Now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come SO THAT the proven genuineness of your faith…may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”  I Peter 1:6-7 NIV

Isn’t that so encouraging?!  We suffer all kinds of trials SO THAT we can prove that our faith is strong in the LORD!  

I refuse to dwell on why it seems like others don’t have to “prove” their faith.  Because they do.  Maybe not at the same time as I do, or even around the same situation as I do….  But we all face moments when we have to prove where our faith is planted.  And what an honor, right?  After all that He's done and continues to do for me?! 

There is no better place to firmly plant your faith than in the Lord.  ♥

“All people are like the grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass dies and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord will live forever."  Isaiah 40:6–8 NCV

Next!!

Today is pretty rough.  Let me just fill you in…..

*On June 12, 2012, we were notified about a “potential adoption situation”.  This was an independent situation (in other words- - not through our adoption agency).  A 5 week old, African American baby girl needed a forever family.  We wanted her to come home to us so bad!!  We prayed, cried, prayed some more and applied to be considered for this baby girl.

And so did 19 other families. 

We were notified on June 19, 2012 that we were not selected to be this little baby’s adoptive parents. 

We were devastated.  

*On May 31, 2012, we were notified about a “potential adoption situation”.  A 6 month old, Caucasian baby girl needed a forever family.  We were ecstatic and extremely hopeful.  This was also an independent situation (not through our adoption agency).  We prayed, cried, prayed some more and applied to be considered for this little baby girl. 

And so did 57 other families. 

We were notified today that we were not selected to be this little girl’s adoptive parents….. 

What a terribly sad day.

I can’t allow myself to stay in this sad place for too long…. But for right now, I’m there.  Man alive, it STINKS.  The emotions of feeling “rejected” in so many ways are unbearable sometimes. 

My brother had some really encouraging words for us after hearing the news of our 2^nd rejection…..  Here is what he said:

“One of my favorite words found over 180 times in the Bible that has gotten me through so many disappointments in my life: “next”.  Sometimes it helps to say it out loud for you and every spirit to hear:  NEXT!”

Bless his sweet heart.  I didn’t think there was anything that anyone could say to offer comfort, but his words did.  Thank you, Nathan.  I love you.

So here’s to what the Lord has planned for us.  NEXT!!

“God’s plans for your life far exceed the circumstances of your day.”  ~Louie Giglio

Trusting In Advance

I’ve definitely still been on that rollercoaster of emotions lately.  Some days it’s hard to feel God’s love and that’s the worst feeling in the world.  I will say, though, that it does not take long for God to do something or use someone to encourage me like never before.  And that, my friends, is the best feeling in the world!  (See, there’s that rollercoaster!)

I’m always singing Erik’s praises and I’ll sing them again real quick- - He is just absolutely wonderful.  We used this past weekend to spend some good quality one-on-one time with each other and it was incredibly refreshing.  I’m so thankful that God blessed me with such a godly husband.  He is everything I need.  Being married to my best friend truly makes the “peaks” in life more enjoyable and the “valleys” more bearable.  Praise God!! 

We are of course still waiting on “THE” call.  As I mentioned before, we’re staying busy “controlling the wait”. 

Update on our P90X challenge:  Well, I made it a month and a half and Erik is still going!  It’s for sure hard and kicked my tail but more than that, I got B O R E D with it!  It’s super repetitive and I just got plain grouchy doing it!  Haha!  I’m really proud of Erik for sticking with it.  I, on the other hand, made the choice to still focus on my fitness, but in another way.  I’ve joined a Fitness Boot Camp twice a week for 6 weeks.  I am loving it so far, but of course it is HARD too!  I do love that I’m with a group of ladies, there’s variety to our workouts, our trainer is super motivational and there’s loud music during all of it.  I think this may be the very thing that gets me to enjoy working out again.  Yay!

Exciting news:  We’ve started on the NURSERY!!  YAY!!!!!!!! 

On Saturday, 06/16, Erik and I went to Lowes and picked out PAINT! 

"Sunspark" is the color!



After 7 hours and 3 coats of paint- - we were finished!

We couldn’t stand to wait any longer on getting baby furniture so this past Saturday, 06/23, we ordered some!!  Here’s the set we ordered (in Espresso)!  (It should be here in 1-2 weeks!)

We’re so excited!  It’s a 4-in-1 convertible crib (meaning it converts to a toddler bed, daybed and full size bed).  The changing table attaches to the crib but can detach and be used as a nightstand.  And of course the 4 drawer dresser is just a normal necessity. 

That's about all the updates for now!  I'll check in with any new developments.  Ha!
Have a wonderful, blessed rest of the week!  

"I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse."  ~Philip Yancey

I Can Find You In A Prayer

As I’m sitting here soaking my hair in olive oil (by the way- - a great way to revive dry ends! haha!), I’m listening to some music and reflecting on the past couple weeks.  (Mandisa’s song, “Stronger” is on.  Man, that’s a great song.)

I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions over the past couple weeks.  I’ll go into detail at a later time but for now, I just want to admit that I was struggling to feel the presence of God.  Holy cow, that’s a horrible place to be.  My roller coaster of emotions stems around having to wait to be a mommy.  I won’t beat a dead horse and reiterate my desires at this time, but y’all know.  It just hurts.  A lot.

I am incredibly thankful for you all that support me, pray for me and with me.  Thank you!

I’m not sure if anyone knows me quite like my sister does.... I looooooove my sister!

“For there is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather;

To cheer one on the tedious way,

To fetch one if one goes astray,

To lift one if one totters down,

To strengthen whilst one stands.”

~Christina Rossetti

At some point last year, I was on the phone with my sister crying about wanting to be a mommy.  (We have lots of those conversations).  I was pouring my heart out to her and she cried with me.  After we got off the phone, she called me back later that night.  She said she had written a song for me, from my perspective.  I am continually amazed at her talent as a songwriter.  Bless her.  It is perfect.  It really helps me through some tough days.  

I just have to share the lyrics with you all.  I’m positive it can encourage some of you that may be waiting for God’s answer to your prayers….

I Can Find You In A Prayer

By Natalie Weems

“Father God I am waiting

I am down on my knees

I am anticipating

When will you answer my pleas?

I know You know more than I do

So tell me why is it so hard to trust in You?

God give me strength to get back on my feet again

Give me hope even though the answer right now is no

Give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach

You’re always there

I can find you in a prayer

My tears are falling but fading

When I’m searching, seeking Your face

And when the future is hazy

You’re my comfort Lord, here in this place

I pray your perfect will be done

Cause there is a reason in Your perfect wisdom

God give me strength to get back on my feet again

Give me hope even though the answer right now is no

Give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach

You’re always there

I can find You in a prayer

I can find You in a prayer

I will not give up

No, I will be strong

No, I won’t lose my faith in You

No, I’ll keep holding on

I will always pray to the God who gives and takes away

And if it is your will, I know that You will make a way

I will trust and I will pray

You give me strength to get back on my feet again

You give me hope even though the answer right now is no

You give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach

You’re always there

I can find You in a prayer

Father God I am waiting,

Father God I am waiting

Father God I am waiting

Father God I am waiting.”

Isn’t it just beautiful?! J  The melody is just as gorgeous.

And, good news- - over the past couple of weeks, I prayed and prayed for a renewed sense of peace, hope, joy and to just feel God’s love again.  And y’all- - did He ever answer!  J  Praise God!  It’s really nothing I can explain with words.  (The feeling, that is.)  He just covered me with His love and I am completely engulfed in it.  YAYYYY!!!!

Even though I am still waiting to be a mommy, and it hurts like crazy, I cannot allow Satan to rob me of my joy!  We are in a spiritual battle EVERY DAY and I feel like the days that I’m anxious, sad and hopeless are days that I hand over to the Devil!  Grrrrr!  No more!  (Back up off of my joy, Evil One!!  Quit stealing my days!)

Have a great rest of the week friends!  Don't let Satan steal any of your days!  J

  

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your graciousness be known to everyone.  The Lord is near.  Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.  Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.”  ~Philippians 4:4-9 HCSB

The YES To Whatever I Need

Erik and I are all about learning new ideas/advice to enrich our marriage.  We love to discover new devotionals, attend marriage conferences, etc.  Although we take working at our marriage very seriously, we always find ourselves laughing through whatever we’re doing.  One example is that we did that “challenge” The Love Dare a little while back.  Remember that?  You had a new “love dare” for each day.  Things like-  write your spouse a note, cook dinner for your spouse, don’t say anything negative to your spouse today, etc.  We laughed our way through that book saying things like, “consider supper tonight my dare for the day.”  J 

Recently we read an article that had some good advice for couples to keep their marriage “fresh”.  One of the main things we took away from the article is to say “Thank You” to your spouse at least 4 times a day.  They advised couples to say “thank you” for specific things and let them vary day to day.  I was excited about this new challenge and we took it seriously for a little bit.  Now, Erik’s started leaving notes for me in the mornings like this:



"This counts as 1 of my 4 thank yous today... yes it does!"

J  He makes me laugh and for sure gets my days off to a great start. 

I guess this was just a long way to say that I am extremely thankful for Erik.  Life gets crazy and I don’t reflect on my thankfulness enough.  Because our relationship continues to grow and my love for Erik continually deepens, sometimes it’s hard to find the appropriate words to express my heart.  I recently got him a card that perfectly describes my feelings:

“You’re the LOW-KEY to my high maintenance,

The SLOW DOWN to my hurry,

The LET IT BE to my worry,

The UNWIND to my all wound up,

The SOFT KISS to my talk, talk, talk….

You’re the YES to whatever I need,

The answer to all I could ever ask for in someone to love.”

I love you, Erik.  You are the man of my dreams.  Thank you for being exactly what I need when I need it and for being so consistent with the true meaning of "love".

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  ~ I Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

Dear Child

My thoughts are fairly simplistic lately. 
I am simply dreaming of our child.  Praying that he/she comes soon, yearning for the day that we welcome him/her home. 

One day I'll print this Blog for our sweet baby.... so tonight..... this entry is especially for you- - our beautiful child.

My precious child,

There are not enough words to describe my love for you.  Although I have not met you yet, the love I feel for you is overwhelming.  I pray for you every single day and I dream about you at night.  It’s as if I sense that you’re already here;  I feel you in my heart but I just can’t see you with my eyes. 

You’re an angel and a child of God.  You are God’s creation and nothing short of a masterpiece.    Your daddy and I are absolutely honored to be your earthly parents.  God already has great plans for you!  He’s going to bless you with a life of hope and success! (Jeremiah 29:11)   

We eagerly anticipate your arrival and will cherish you forever.

With all my love always,
Mommy


"Children are a gift from the Lord.."  ~Psalm 127:3 NCV

But I Do Love....

This week has been the slowest, longest week EVER!  You know those times when everything just feels “off”?  Well, this week was that for me.  I’ve had that LeAnn Rimes song, “But I Do Love You” in my head a lot the past few days.  Some of the lyrics are:

“I don’t like to see the sky painted grey

And I don’t like when nothings goin’ my way

I don’t like to be the one with the blues

But I do love you….”

I’ve found myself thinking about some things that I really DO NOT like…… for example:

*I do not like when people are mean/rude.

*I do not like waiting to be a mommy.

*I do not like being sick.

*I do not like feeling obligated to do stuff that I don’t want to do.

*I do not like losing touch with friends.

I’ve had to try to focus on the things that I DO love though…. For example:

*I do love living life with Erik.

*I do love rejoicing with friends.

*I do love seeing God reveal His plan for us.

*I do love having a supportive, loving family.

*I do love the sunshine.

Soooooo maybe rather than listening to that LeAnn Rimes song, I should listen to Alyssa Bonagura’s song “Sunshine” instead.  J  Some of those lyrics are:

“It don’t matter if it’s raining

Nothing can phase me,

I make my own sunshine

And if you think you can break me

Baby you’re crazy

I make my own sunshine….”

I hope y’all have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!  Here’s to having a better attitude no matter WHAT comes our way because we know that in our hard times the Lord makes us strong.  J

“Do everything without complaining or arguing.” ~Philippians 2:14 NCV

“…(the Lord) said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  ~2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV