Next!!

Today is pretty rough.  Let me just fill you in…..

*On June 12, 2012, we were notified about a “potential adoption situation”.  This was an independent situation (in other words- - not through our adoption agency).  A 5 week old, African American baby girl needed a forever family.  We wanted her to come home to us so bad!!  We prayed, cried, prayed some more and applied to be considered for this baby girl.

And so did 19 other families. 

We were notified on June 19, 2012 that we were not selected to be this little baby’s adoptive parents. 

We were devastated.  

*On May 31, 2012, we were notified about a “potential adoption situation”.  A 6 month old, Caucasian baby girl needed a forever family.  We were ecstatic and extremely hopeful.  This was also an independent situation (not through our adoption agency).  We prayed, cried, prayed some more and applied to be considered for this little baby girl. 

And so did 57 other families. 

We were notified today that we were not selected to be this little girl’s adoptive parents….. 

What a terribly sad day.

I can’t allow myself to stay in this sad place for too long…. But for right now, I’m there.  Man alive, it STINKS.  The emotions of feeling “rejected” in so many ways are unbearable sometimes. 

My brother had some really encouraging words for us after hearing the news of our 2^nd rejection…..  Here is what he said:

“One of my favorite words found over 180 times in the Bible that has gotten me through so many disappointments in my life: “next”.  Sometimes it helps to say it out loud for you and every spirit to hear:  NEXT!”

Bless his sweet heart.  I didn’t think there was anything that anyone could say to offer comfort, but his words did.  Thank you, Nathan.  I love you.

So here’s to what the Lord has planned for us.  NEXT!!

“God’s plans for your life far exceed the circumstances of your day.”  ~Louie Giglio

Trusting In Advance

I’ve definitely still been on that rollercoaster of emotions lately.  Some days it’s hard to feel God’s love and that’s the worst feeling in the world.  I will say, though, that it does not take long for God to do something or use someone to encourage me like never before.  And that, my friends, is the best feeling in the world!  (See, there’s that rollercoaster!)

I’m always singing Erik’s praises and I’ll sing them again real quick- - He is just absolutely wonderful.  We used this past weekend to spend some good quality one-on-one time with each other and it was incredibly refreshing.  I’m so thankful that God blessed me with such a godly husband.  He is everything I need.  Being married to my best friend truly makes the “peaks” in life more enjoyable and the “valleys” more bearable.  Praise God!! 

We are of course still waiting on “THE” call.  As I mentioned before, we’re staying busy “controlling the wait”. 

Update on our P90X challenge:  Well, I made it a month and a half and Erik is still going!  It’s for sure hard and kicked my tail but more than that, I got B O R E D with it!  It’s super repetitive and I just got plain grouchy doing it!  Haha!  I’m really proud of Erik for sticking with it.  I, on the other hand, made the choice to still focus on my fitness, but in another way.  I’ve joined a Fitness Boot Camp twice a week for 6 weeks.  I am loving it so far, but of course it is HARD too!  I do love that I’m with a group of ladies, there’s variety to our workouts, our trainer is super motivational and there’s loud music during all of it.  I think this may be the very thing that gets me to enjoy working out again.  Yay!

Exciting news:  We’ve started on the NURSERY!!  YAY!!!!!!!! 

On Saturday, 06/16, Erik and I went to Lowes and picked out PAINT! 

"Sunspark" is the color!



After 7 hours and 3 coats of paint- - we were finished!

We couldn’t stand to wait any longer on getting baby furniture so this past Saturday, 06/23, we ordered some!!  Here’s the set we ordered (in Espresso)!  (It should be here in 1-2 weeks!)

We’re so excited!  It’s a 4-in-1 convertible crib (meaning it converts to a toddler bed, daybed and full size bed).  The changing table attaches to the crib but can detach and be used as a nightstand.  And of course the 4 drawer dresser is just a normal necessity. 

That's about all the updates for now!  I'll check in with any new developments.  Ha!
Have a wonderful, blessed rest of the week!  

"I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse."  ~Philip Yancey

I Can Find You In A Prayer

As I’m sitting here soaking my hair in olive oil (by the way- - a great way to revive dry ends! haha!), I’m listening to some music and reflecting on the past couple weeks.  (Mandisa’s song, “Stronger” is on.  Man, that’s a great song.)

I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions over the past couple weeks.  I’ll go into detail at a later time but for now, I just want to admit that I was struggling to feel the presence of God.  Holy cow, that’s a horrible place to be.  My roller coaster of emotions stems around having to wait to be a mommy.  I won’t beat a dead horse and reiterate my desires at this time, but y’all know.  It just hurts.  A lot.

I am incredibly thankful for you all that support me, pray for me and with me.  Thank you!

I’m not sure if anyone knows me quite like my sister does.... I looooooove my sister!

“For there is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather;

To cheer one on the tedious way,

To fetch one if one goes astray,

To lift one if one totters down,

To strengthen whilst one stands.”

~Christina Rossetti

At some point last year, I was on the phone with my sister crying about wanting to be a mommy.  (We have lots of those conversations).  I was pouring my heart out to her and she cried with me.  After we got off the phone, she called me back later that night.  She said she had written a song for me, from my perspective.  I am continually amazed at her talent as a songwriter.  Bless her.  It is perfect.  It really helps me through some tough days.  

I just have to share the lyrics with you all.  I’m positive it can encourage some of you that may be waiting for God’s answer to your prayers….

I Can Find You In A Prayer

By Natalie Weems

“Father God I am waiting

I am down on my knees

I am anticipating

When will you answer my pleas?

I know You know more than I do

So tell me why is it so hard to trust in You?

God give me strength to get back on my feet again

Give me hope even though the answer right now is no

Give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach

You’re always there

I can find you in a prayer

My tears are falling but fading

When I’m searching, seeking Your face

And when the future is hazy

You’re my comfort Lord, here in this place

I pray your perfect will be done

Cause there is a reason in Your perfect wisdom

God give me strength to get back on my feet again

Give me hope even though the answer right now is no

Give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach

You’re always there

I can find You in a prayer

I can find You in a prayer

I will not give up

No, I will be strong

No, I won’t lose my faith in You

No, I’ll keep holding on

I will always pray to the God who gives and takes away

And if it is your will, I know that You will make a way

I will trust and I will pray

You give me strength to get back on my feet again

You give me hope even though the answer right now is no

You give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach

You’re always there

I can find You in a prayer

Father God I am waiting,

Father God I am waiting

Father God I am waiting

Father God I am waiting.”

Isn’t it just beautiful?! J  The melody is just as gorgeous.

And, good news- - over the past couple of weeks, I prayed and prayed for a renewed sense of peace, hope, joy and to just feel God’s love again.  And y’all- - did He ever answer!  J  Praise God!  It’s really nothing I can explain with words.  (The feeling, that is.)  He just covered me with His love and I am completely engulfed in it.  YAYYYY!!!!

Even though I am still waiting to be a mommy, and it hurts like crazy, I cannot allow Satan to rob me of my joy!  We are in a spiritual battle EVERY DAY and I feel like the days that I’m anxious, sad and hopeless are days that I hand over to the Devil!  Grrrrr!  No more!  (Back up off of my joy, Evil One!!  Quit stealing my days!)

Have a great rest of the week friends!  Don't let Satan steal any of your days!  J

  

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your graciousness be known to everyone.  The Lord is near.  Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.  Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.”  ~Philippians 4:4-9 HCSB

The YES To Whatever I Need

Erik and I are all about learning new ideas/advice to enrich our marriage.  We love to discover new devotionals, attend marriage conferences, etc.  Although we take working at our marriage very seriously, we always find ourselves laughing through whatever we’re doing.  One example is that we did that “challenge” The Love Dare a little while back.  Remember that?  You had a new “love dare” for each day.  Things like-  write your spouse a note, cook dinner for your spouse, don’t say anything negative to your spouse today, etc.  We laughed our way through that book saying things like, “consider supper tonight my dare for the day.”  J 

Recently we read an article that had some good advice for couples to keep their marriage “fresh”.  One of the main things we took away from the article is to say “Thank You” to your spouse at least 4 times a day.  They advised couples to say “thank you” for specific things and let them vary day to day.  I was excited about this new challenge and we took it seriously for a little bit.  Now, Erik’s started leaving notes for me in the mornings like this:



"This counts as 1 of my 4 thank yous today... yes it does!"

J  He makes me laugh and for sure gets my days off to a great start. 

I guess this was just a long way to say that I am extremely thankful for Erik.  Life gets crazy and I don’t reflect on my thankfulness enough.  Because our relationship continues to grow and my love for Erik continually deepens, sometimes it’s hard to find the appropriate words to express my heart.  I recently got him a card that perfectly describes my feelings:

“You’re the LOW-KEY to my high maintenance,

The SLOW DOWN to my hurry,

The LET IT BE to my worry,

The UNWIND to my all wound up,

The SOFT KISS to my talk, talk, talk….

You’re the YES to whatever I need,

The answer to all I could ever ask for in someone to love.”

I love you, Erik.  You are the man of my dreams.  Thank you for being exactly what I need when I need it and for being so consistent with the true meaning of "love".

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  ~ I Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV