As I’m sitting here soaking my hair in olive oil (by the way- - a great way to revive dry ends! haha!), I’m listening to some music and reflecting on the past couple weeks. (Mandisa’s song, “Stronger” is on. Man, that’s a great song.)
I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions over the past couple weeks. I’ll go into detail at a later time but for now, I just want to admit that I was struggling to feel the presence of God. Holy cow, that’s a horrible place to be. My roller coaster of emotions stems around having to wait to be a mommy. I won’t beat a dead horse and reiterate my desires at this time, but y’all know. It just hurts. A lot.
I am incredibly thankful for you all that support me, pray for me and with me. Thank you!
I’m not sure if anyone knows me quite like my sister does.... I looooooove my sister!
“For there is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather;
To cheer one on the tedious way,
To fetch one if one goes astray,
To lift one if one totters down,
To strengthen whilst one stands.”
~Christina Rossetti
At some point last year, I was on the phone with my sister crying about wanting to be a mommy. (We have lots of those conversations). I was pouring my heart out to her and she cried with me. After we got off the phone, she called me back later that night. She said she had written a song for me, from my perspective. I am continually amazed at her talent as a songwriter. Bless her. It is perfect. It really helps me through some tough days.
I just have to share the lyrics with you all. I’m positive it can encourage some of you that may be waiting for God’s answer to your prayers….
I Can Find You In A Prayer
By Natalie Weems
“Father God I am waiting
I am down on my knees
I am anticipating
When will you answer my pleas?
I know You know more than I do
So tell me why is it so hard to trust in You?
God give me strength to get back on my feet again
Give me hope even though the answer right now is no
Give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach
You’re always there
I can find you in a prayer
My tears are falling but fading
When I’m searching, seeking Your face
And when the future is hazy
You’re my comfort Lord, here in this place
I pray your perfect will be done
Cause there is a reason in Your perfect wisdom
God give me strength to get back on my feet again
Give me hope even though the answer right now is no
Give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach
You’re always there
I can find You in a prayer
I can find You in a prayer
I will not give up
No, I will be strong
No, I won’t lose my faith in You
No, I’ll keep holding on
I will always pray to the God who gives and takes away
And if it is your will, I know that You will make a way
I will trust and I will pray
You give me strength to get back on my feet again
You give me hope even though the answer right now is no
You give me peace and help me know You’re not out of reach
You’re always there
I can find You in a prayer
Father God I am waiting,
Father God I am waiting
Father God I am waiting
Father God I am waiting.”
Isn’t it just beautiful?! J The melody is just as gorgeous.
And, good news- - over the past couple of weeks, I prayed and prayed for a renewed sense of peace, hope, joy and to just feel God’s love again. And y’all- - did He ever answer! J Praise God! It’s really nothing I can explain with words. (The feeling, that is.) He just covered me with His love and I am completely engulfed in it. YAYYYY!!!!
Even though I am still waiting to be a mommy, and it hurts like crazy, I cannot allow Satan to rob me of my joy! We are in a spiritual battle EVERY DAY and I feel like the days that I’m anxious, sad and hopeless are days that I hand over to the Devil! Grrrrr! No more! (Back up off of my joy, Evil One!! Quit stealing my days!)
Have a great rest of the week friends! Don't let Satan steal any of your days! J
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.” ~Philippians 4:4-9 HCSB
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