I Need You

Yesterday after receiving your comments and "likes" on Facebook, comments on here, private messages and emails, I felt so encouraged, supported, loved and understood.  I didn't realize I needed the support until I had it.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.... 

(I feel the need to reflect and kind of go off track for a second and talk about a side issue of mine.  Bare with me.)  ;o)

I love people so much and I love caring for others.  I love to listen to others’ problems, give advice, encourage them, etc.  I love that we are called to carry the burdens of others and rejoice when others rejoice (Galations 6:2, Romans 12:15).

But I am a control freak.  I want to handle and control my life, my problems, my worries, my concerns.  I am independent.  I can do whatever I set my mind to and do not give up easily.  When I need help, its me and God.  I talk to Him, He listens.  He talks to me, I listen… and we’re good.  I don’t like to need other people.  I like to be needed, I just don’t like to need anyone.  I’ve gotten by like this just fine. 

Until now.

You would think since I love people so much and love the whole process of sharing each other’s experiences that I would be quick to turn to others when I myself am faced with trials.  I am not.  What a beautiful gift God has given us!  I mean, to turn to God’s children, your friends and family, and have them love you, comfort you and strengthen you with His love…. its beautiful.  So why, oh why, is it so hard for me to reach out to people?!  I cannot make myself pick up the phone and call a friend when I'm having a really sad day.  Why not?!

I’ll admit, I’ve been let down by people before….. lots of times.  But who hasn’t, right?  I do not feel that I’m holding a grudge for it?  (maybe I am?)  Or am I being too proud to say “I’m weak”?  Maybe I’m fearful of being judged?  Or is it that I do not want to weigh someone else down with my issues when I know they’re dealing with their own problems?  Maybe I’m waiting for someone to simply ask me how I am…. Maybe then I would open up and lean on them..??  Or wait.  Maybe I’m just making excuses. 

God made it clear to me several weeks ago that I need to work on this.  He can love me and speak to me through the people around me.  I have to allow Him to do so. 

I started this blog yesterday thinking it was only going to be a way for me to organize my thoughts, track our process and progress in our joyful journey.  Well, God has already made it clear to me (through all of you) why He placed the idea in my mind to start this blog. 

I. Need. You.   And that’s okay with me.  :o) 

"The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense."  Proverbs 27:9 (NLT)